For His Glory

Dear Grandpa,
Oh how I miss you already. How I am going to miss all that I loved about you. You have always been a piece of my life, my heart, my happiness. I always knew God would remove someone I loved dearly in this lifetime, but just never knew who would be first. Well, He has chosen you. I always tried to imagine what pain one must feel when they lose someone dear. I never would of imagined the flood of emotions that have flooded me dear grandpa. Half of the tears are for my dear mom, aunts, uncles, and cousins, and the other half are for myself. I have wept in ways I never knew were possible.

Oh and I am going through all your pictures and as painful as it is I've had to walk away so many times, but come back and determined to make this slideshow DVD as beautiful as you were to all of us you have left behind. It will be beautiful Grandpa. It will share your life and the memories you've made for us all and with us all. Every holiday, birthday, wedding (and Lord knows there's been hundreds!), and everything else.

I think one of the most precious thoughts of you I have is how you married my grandma and wanted her and her three baby girls too. One of those baby girls was my mamma. You loved her and raised her. You are one special man to me. Your tender love to her and to all of us has never wavered. You have always been consistent in your love to each and everyone of you children, grandchildren, and your great grandchildren. I think we all believed each one of us was the "apple of your eye" :)...That's how you made us feel. You have said time and time again how, "Damn proud you are of all your kids"...

You have been gone from this world for five days. You are worshipping Jesus, you want nothing more to do with this world. Yet, we still live in this world, we still feel the pain, the loss, the devastation of your absence. I went to visit Grandma the other day. Do you know how heart-wrenching it was! As I drove up your street like I've done so many times before, I wanted to imagine that I'd come into the house to see you sitting in your chair around the corner, but this time I was greeted by Grandma in the driveway. We wept together there in that driveway for what seemed to be forever, I didn't want to let her go, because I knew the next step was to get into the house where you wouldn't be. And as I turned that corner to see who was sitting in your chair, it was Uncle Miles. I gave him a big hug and wished in my heart it was you, greeting me with your big bear hug and saying, "HEY WENDERS!"...As I left that evening with more pictures in hand, I thought to myself how I was frustrated that two weeks before when I had come to visit you, It seemed so short because I had to get to Steven's birthday. I came in as I was leaving to say goodbye and you said, "We didn't get to visit long" and I shared with you that I had to get to the birthday. I held your hand and gave you a kiss on the cheek. I think part of me didn't want to accept that this could quite possibly be the last day I'd see you. It was. And Oh how I wish now to of skipped that birthday and been able to sit with you instead! It's how God would have it be.

So Grandpa, you've left an open wound, a raw opened wound. It will slowly heal, scab, and then leave a scar. You are my precious, precious, grandfather. Thank you for loving me, loving my children, and always showing we were important to you by all the acts of love including coming to every birthday (especially those Luau's I know you loved), graduation, wedding, and everything in between for the last 31 years of my life. My heart fills with joy as I turn to God and thank Him that He has given us you for not only this lifetime, but for all of eternity.

With Love,
Your grand-daughter,
"Wenders"