ME TIME!!!!

(my teaching curriculum for the year)

So as you all know "school is in session", well at least for most people, whether it's public, private or homeschooling...School's In Session!! So this past week has been okay as far as the older kids and them being pretty cooperative with schooling...However, there is a new twist! I have two toddlers now! This is a wonderful thing! But it takes a whole lot more of ME to go around than usual. And in saying that, I have been struggling!!! Just with patience and gentleness and frustration being quickly angered in my heart making my responses snippy and snappy and harsher in tone...Now most people would say "don't worry that's normal to feel that way", but I know in my heart and spirit it's not the way God intends for me to be. SIN has ruined everything that God intended to be beautiful, just look around: including "mothering".

I am a lovely sinner who thinks the time I have is mostly MINE, when in reality my new life in Christ was given to me to "lay it down" as Christ laid down His life for sinners like me. I'm to be a sacrifice and sacrifice myself, my wants, my desires, and serve my little lambs with joy, unselfishness, kindness, patience, joy, faithfulness, and self control.

I get sometimes to where I feel sooo defeated in my sinful attitudes, and bogged down by the weight of them. I go to bed feeling like "I hated today!" only because of ME!! I get so wrapped up in how much I struggled that day that I feel I can't get out or pull up for air! You see that's where the enemy would like for me to stay, but I do want fresh air and freedom from my sin attitudes, I want so badly to die to myself and my flesh and to live unto Christ!! So this morning in the Word I came across the PERFECT verse for how I was feeling!

Psalm 31:9-10
"Have mercy on me, O Lord, for I am in trouble; My eye wastes away with grief, Yes, my soul and my body! For my life is spent with grief, and my years with sighing; My strength fails because of my iniquity, And my bones waste away."
David knew what it was like to feel so overwhelmed by his own iniquity (sin)! And knowing what it was like to waste his days with sinful attitudes. I don't want these days that are to be used to glorify God, to be wasted by my sin!

I am so thankful that it is not long before the Holy Spirit is doing his convicting in my heart and reminding me through the reading of His precious Word to turn from sin and walk in His Ways. He causes me by His amazing grace, to fall into a heart of repentance and ask for His forgiveness and He then beautifully reminds me that His Son took the punishment of those sinful attitudes.

And then the beauty of this verse in the same chp. in verse 24;

"Be of good courage, And He shall strengthen your heart, All you who hope in the Lord."

Psalm 32:1 "Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity..."

Maybe you are struggling in some area of your heart. I pray you don't get bogged down, but realize you can pick it up right where you are, by God's grace and mercy, and start afresh. (every morning)